Stump the Priest: Memory Eternal

 

Question: "Is it proper to say "Memory Eternal!" in reference to the non-Orthodox?"

When we sing "Memory Eternal!" at a funeral or a pannikhida, we are not praying that the memory of the departed will be eternal among those here on earth, but that God would remember them eternally. Of course, by this we do not mean to suggest that God might forget if we don't ask him to remember them. We are speaking of a particular kind of memory.

In the Gospels Christ tells us that on the day of judgment, many will be surprised to hear the words "I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity" (Matthew 7:22-23). And in the Scriptures when it speaks of "knowing" someone, it refers to the intimate knowledge that results from relationship, and so the point in this passage is that while the people in question professed to be followers of Christ, they did not have a real living relationship with Him. 

When we pray that God would make the memory of the departed eternal, we are also alluding to the prayer of the wise thief on the Cross who said to Christ: "Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom" (Luke 23:42).

When considering whether it is proper to say "Memory Eternal!" with reference to someone who is not an Orthodox Christian, you should consider whether or not it would be proper to do the funeral service or a pannikhida for them. And the answer is "No." It is true that there is a very short order of service for a non-Orthodox Christian that can be done if they such a person has no one to bury them from their own faith, such as might happen in an Orthodox country. But such services simply consisted of singing the Trisagion, without any of the other prayers of a funeral or pannikhida, including "Memory Eternal!" And if we are not permitted to sing "Memory Eternal!" even at the burial of a non-Orthodox Christian under such circumstances, we should not say it with regard to them in other contexts either (see: On the Burial of the Heterodox).

We certainly can pray for them in our private prayers, and we do not preempt the judgment of God, and assume we know what it will be in their case, but "Memory Eternal! is a prayer that should be limited to baptized Orthodox Christians who have at least not renounced the faith in this life.

Update: St. John of Shanghai did allow "Memory Eternal!" to be sung, along with some other hymns, as "an exception for those persons who during their lives demonstrated goodwill towards the Orthodox faith and took part in its life to the best of their abilities..." It is not clear exactly what sort of person would fit into that category, although perhaps someone who had an interest in conversion, but had not yet completed the process would be such an example. But clearly, saying "Memory Eternal!" for those who had no connection with the Church would not fit, even as an exception.

For more information, see:

Stump the Priest: How do you Pray for the Non-Orthodox?

Stump the Priest: Can the Dead Repent?

Question: "If someone dies without repentance, is it possible for such a person to repent after death?"

Scripture, as explained by the Fathers of the Church, states that this is not possible.

Psalm 6:5 says: "For in death there is none that is mindful of Thee, and in hades who will confess Thee?"

Commenting on this passage, St. John Chrysostom says: "[The Prophet David is] not implying that our existence lasts only as far as this present life: perish the thought! After all, he is aware of the doctrine of the resurrection. Rather, it is that after our departure from here there would be no time for repentance. For the rich man praised God and repented, but in view of its lateness it did him no good [Luke 16:19-31]. The virgins wanted to get some oil, but no one gave any to them [Matthew 25:1-13]. So this is what this mane requests, too, for his sins to be washed away in this life so as to enjoy confidence at the tribunal of the fearsome judge" (St. John Chrysostom: Commentary on the Psalms, vol. I, trans. Robert C. Hill (Brookline, MA: Holy Cross Orthodox Press, 1998), p. 102).

St. Jerome says: "While you are still in this world, I beg of you to repent. Confess and give thanks to the Lord, for in this world only is he merciful. Here, he is able to be compassionate to the repentant, but because there he is judge, he is not merciful. Here, he is compassionate kindness; there, he is judge. Here, he reaches out his hand to the falling; there, he presides as judge" (Homily on Psalm 105[106], quoted in Ancient Christian Commentary on Scripture: Old Testament, Vol. VII, Craig A. Blaising and Carmen S. Hardin, eds. (Downers Grove, IL: Intervasity Press, 2008) p. 51).

St. Gregory the Theologian says: "... it is better to be punished and cleansed now than to be transmitted to the torment to come, when it is the time of chastisement, not of cleansing.  For as he who remembers God here is conqueror of death (as David has most excellently sung) so the departed have not in the grave confession and restoration; for God has confined life and action to this world, and to the future the scrutiny of what has been done" (On His Father's Silence, Oration 16:7).

St. Basil the Great says: "In like manner they which have grieved the Holy Spirit by the wickedness of their ways, or have not wrought for Him that gave to them, shall be deprived of what they have received, their grace being transferred to others; or, according to one of the evangelists, they shall even be wholly cut asunder, —the cutting asunder meaning complete separation from the Spirit.  The body is not divided, part being delivered to chastisement, and part let off; for when a whole has sinned it were like the old fables, and unworthy of a righteous judge, for only the half to suffer chastisement.  Nor is the soul cut in two,—that soul the whole of which possesses the sinful affection throughout, and works the wickedness in co-operation with the body. The cutting asunder, as I have observed, is the eternal separation of the soul from the Spirit.  For now, although the Spirit does not suffer admixture with the unworthy, He nevertheless does seem in a manner to be present with them that have once been sealed, awaiting the salvation which follows on their conversion; but then He will be wholly cut off from the soul that has defiled His grace.  For this reason “In Hades there is none that maketh confession; in death none that remembereth God,” because the help of the Spirit is no longer present" (Treatise on the Holy Spirit, 40).

Blessed Theodoret says: "For this reason I beg the privilege of enjoying the cure in the present life, since I know that no cure will then be granted those departing this life with wounds, as there is no longer any room for repentance. This was exceptionally sound thinking on the part of the divine David: it is not in death but in life that one recalls God. Likewise, confession and reform do not come to the departed in Hades: God confined life and action to this life; there, however, he conducts an evaluation of performance. And in any case this is proper to to the eighth day, giving no longer opportunity for preparation by good or bad deeds to those who have arrived at it; instead, whatever works you have sown for yourself you will have occasion to reap. For this reason he obliges you to practice repentance here, there being no practice of this kind of effort in Hades. He says, in fact, "Since the opportunity coming to me for repentance was lengthy, I am afraid death may precede your mercy, there being no room for confession there -- hence my request for your to be quick with your mercy." Then he instructs the listener that along with God's loving-kindness our effort is required, too: whether we plead weakness or confusion or God's goodness without contributing what is ours, it is of no benefit to us" (Theodoret of Cyrus: Commentary on the Psalms, 1-72, trans. Robet C. Hill (Washington, D.C.: Catholic University of America Press, 2000), p. 75).

St. Augustine says: ""For in death there is no one that is mindful of Thee.” He knows too that now is the time for turning unto God: for when this life shall have passed away, there remaineth but a retribution of our deserts. "But in hell who shall confess to Thee?" That rich man, of whom the Lord speaks, who saw Lazarus in rest, but bewailed himself in torments, confessed in hell, yea so as to wish even to have his brethren warned, that they might keep themselves from sin, because of the punishment which is not believed to be in hell. Although therefore to no purpose, yet he confessed that those torments had deservedly lighted upon him; since he even wished his brethren to be instructed, lest they should fall into the same" (Commentary on the Psalms 6:6).

Cassiodorus says: "This may elicit the question, why does he say that in death no-one is mindful of God, whereas then we can be made to tremble more by the imminent anger of God? But when we speak of those unmindful of God, this properly refers to the unfaithful. Isaiah said of them: For those in hell will not praise thee, nor will those who are dead bless thee. When Paul says: In the name of of Jesus let every knee bow, of those that are in heaven, on earth, and under the earth, the statement should be taken as referring only to the faithless and obstinate, who deserve to have no trust placed in their confession. So the psalmist rightly hastens to gain acquittal here, since once the sun has set nothing remains except deserved retribution. Who shall confess to thee in hell? We must mentally add "to win pardon." Compare Solomon's words on impious men: For they will say among themselves, repenting and groaning for anguish of spirit, and the rest. Then too we know that the rich man who saw Lazarus settled in peace confessed his evil plight, but he was not heard praying for help because it is in this world that confession connotes also obtaining pardon. To help us realize that some distinction is being made in the words of the verse, in death means passing from life, whereas in hell means hugging the place where souls are known to endure what they have deserved. There is total denial that a confession can be made in each of these situations" (Cassiodorus: Explanation of the Psalms, Vol. 1, trans. P. G. Walsh, (New York: Paulist Press,1990), p. 94f).

We find a very similar passage in Isaiah 38:18-19, which Cassiodorus references:

"For they that are in the grave shall not praise thee, neither shall the dead bless thee, neither shall they that are in Hades hope for thy mercy. The living shall bless thee, as I also do: for from this day shall I beget children, who shall declare thy righteousness."

St. Cyril of Alexandria says: "What is said in the psalm verse contains sentiments similar to this passage, "What value is there in my death if I descend into corruption? Dust will not praise you or proclaim your marvels [Psalm 29[30]:9]." In other words, once dead, and enclosed in the gates of Hades, they will cease giving praise. Nothing further could be added to what has been achieved; instead, they will remain in the condition in which they were left, and will await the time of the general judgment. So he is saying that it is the living, with the power of doing good on receipt of benefits who will bless you, as I do" (Cyril of Alexandria: Commentary on Isaiah, Vol. II, trans. Robert C. Hill (Brookline, MA: Holy Cross Orthodox Press, 2008), p. 300).

So here you have all of the Three Great Hierarchs, along with two great Latin Saints, St. Cyril of Alexandria (the preeminent Father of the Third Ecumenical Council), as well as two notable patristic commentators all saying essentially the same thing: the time for repentance is in this life. If you have not repented before death, it will then be too late.

For More Information:

To see what benefits prayers for the dead have, see: Stump the Priest: Prayers for the Dead in the Bible and in Tradition.

Stump the Priest: Prayers for the Dead in the Bible and in Tradition

Question: "Where do we find any evidence that praying for the dead is a biblical? From what I have read it appears that the Bible almost says the opposite of this in Ezekiel Chapter 18. Sure, Ezekiel was talking to Israel prior to the New Covenant that we have in Christ, but it says at the start of the chapter that this came from the word of the LORD and it seems consistent with Romans 2:3-9."

What does the Bible Say?

First, let me point out that neither of the passages cited address the question of praying for the dead.

The point of Ezekiel 18 is that a son is neither saved nor condemned because of the righteousness or the sins of his father, and neither is a father saved or condemned because of his son. Also, past righteous will not save a man who falls into sin, nor will past sin condemn a man who turns from his sin. The passage is not about prayers for the dead.

The point of Romans 2:3-9 is that everyone will be judged according to his works, This has nothing to do with prayers for the dead either, unless you assume that we believe that by praying for the dead we could pray an impenitent sinner into heaven, but we do not believe that.

There are, however, passages of Scripture that do address this question. 2nd Maccabees is not in most Protestant Bibles, but it was included in the 1611 King James Bible, and has been considered to be part of Scripture by the Church since the time of the Apostles (see Canon 85 of the Holy Apostles) -- and in 2nd Maccabees 12:38-45 we find a very clear example of prayer for the dead.

In the Wisdom of Sirach (which is also listed among Scripture by the Canon 85 of the Apostles), it says: "Give graciously to all the living; do not withhold kindness even from the dead" (Sirach 7:33).

And in 2 Timothy 1:16-18, St. Paul is praying for Onesiphorus, who obviously is no longer among the living:

"The Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, for he often refreshed me, and was not ashamed of my chain; but when he arrived in Rome, he sought me out very zealously and found me. The Lord grant to him that he may find mercy from the Lord in that Day—and you know very well how many ways he ministered to me at Ephesus."

Jewish Tradition

The text from Second Maccabees that has already been cited is clear evidence that this was the Jewish custom well before the time of Christ, but is also a fact that the Jews continue to pray for the dead. So if prayers for the dead were some pagan corruption that crept into the Church, one has to wonder how it also crept into Judaism... especially when this would have to have happened before the the time of Christ.

Christian Tradition

When I first began to seriously consider becoming Orthodox, prayers for the dead were on my list of about 5 issues that had to be resolved, but it was also one of the first issues to be scratched off that list, because the evidence that the early Church prayed for the dead is far too ubiquitous to allow one to doubt it. You find it in the earliest texts of the Liturgy. You find it passing comments made by the earliest writers of the Church. You also find them in the catacombs. For example, we have the Epitaph of Abercius, Bishop of Hieropolis, who reposed in 167 A.D., in which he asks for those who read the epitaph to pray for him. When St. Augustine's pious mother was departing this life, her last request was: "Lay this body anywhere, let not the care for it trouble you at all. This only I ask, that you will remember me at the Lord’s altar, wherever you be" (Confessions 9:27). And quotation upon quotation could be multiplied along these lines.

Prior to the Protestant Reformation, there weren't any Christians, anywhere, who did not have the custom of praying for the dead.

Conclusion

I remember hearing the story of an Anglican priest who had adamantly opposed prayers for the dead any time the issue was raised, and then after his wife's death he ceased to speak up on the matter, and was asked about it. He said that he had prayed for his wife every day, since he had met her, and could not bring himself to stop after her death. Prayer for the dead is a way the living show their love for dead. We also believe that prayers the dead are of some benefit to them, but exactly how these prayers benefit them is not something that the Church has precisely defined. If someone dies in a state of repentance, but without having had a chance to bring forth all the fruits of repentance, we believe that they are not ready to enter immediately into the presence of God, but that at some point, through the prayers of the Church, they will be. If someone dies in a state of impenitence, while our prayers are of some benefit to them, those prayers cannot make them worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven. But in either case, by praying for the dead, we strengthen our own faith, and come to better entrust our loved ones to God's mercy.

Update:

For those who want further proof that the Church does not believe that those who die in a state of unrepentance can be prayed out of hell, consider the following:

St. John of Damascus wrote that those who have departed, unrepentant, and with "an evil life" cannot change their destination from hell to heaven by the prayers of anyone ("On Those Who Have Fallen Asleep in Faith, 21 PG 95,268BC, referenced in "The Mystery of Death," by Nikolaos P. Vassiliadis, p. 432. St. John Chrysostom likewise speaks of those who are where it is not possible to receive cleansing, and who are outside of the Kingdom of God, but who may receive some consolation by our prayers (Homily "On Not Mourning Bitterly Over the Dead", PG 60,888-889, referenced in "The Mystery of Death, p. 432-434),

And St. Mark of Ephesus states in his "First Homily, Refuting the Latin Chapters Concerning Purgatorial Fire":

"But we have received that even the souls which are held in hell are already given over to eternal torments, whether in actual fact and experience or in hopeless expectation of such, as can be aided and given a certain small help, although not in the sense of completely loosing them from torment or giving hope for a final deliverance. And this is shown from the words of the great Macarius the Egyptian ascetic who, finding a skull in the desert, was instructed by it concerning this by the action of Diving Power. And Basil the Great, in the prayers read at Pentecost, writes literally the following: "Who also, on this all-perfect and saving feast, art graciously pleased to accept propitiatory prayers for those who are imprisoned in hades, granting us a great hope of improvement for those who are imprisoned from the defilements which have imprisoned them, and that Thou wilt send down Thy consolation" (Third Kneeling Prayer at Vespers). But if souls have departed this life in faith and love, while nevertheless carrying away with themselves certain faults, whether small ones over which they have not repented at all, or great ones for which -- even though they have repented over them -- they did not undertake to show fruits of repentance: such souls, we believe, must be cleansed from this kind of sins, but not by means of some purgatorial fire or a definite punishment in some place (for this, as we have aid, has not at all been handed down to us). But some must be cleansed in the very departure from the body, thanks only to fear, as St. Gregory the Dialogist literally shows; while others must be cleansed after the departure from the body, either while remaining in the same earthly place, before they come to worship God and are honored with the lot of the blessed, or -- if their sins were more serious and bind them for a longer duration -- they are kept in hades, but not in order to remain forever in fire and torment, but as it were in prison and confinement under guard. All such ones, we affirm, are helped by the prayers and Liturgies performed for them, with the cooperation of the Divine Goodness and Love for mankind. This Divine cooperation immediately disdains and remits some sins, those committed out of human weakness, as Dionysius the Great (the Areopagite) says in the "Reflections of the Mystery of those Reposed in Faith" (in The Ecclesiastical Hierarchy, VII, 7); while other sins, after a certain time, by righteous judgments it either likewise releases and forgives -- and that completely -- or lightens the responsibility for them until that final Judgment" (see "The Soul After Death", Appendix I, p. 208f).

Here also is a quote from St. Symeon of Thessalonika's Liturgical commentary, about commemorations at the Proskomedia: "And there is no place here [in commemorations at the proskomedia] for unbelievers, let alone for the heterodox. "For what communion does light have with darkness?" since, scripture says, the angels will separate out the evil from the midst of the just. Therefore it is also not at all right for a priest to make a commemoration of him; neither for a heterodox, or make a commemoration of him neither for those openly sinning and unrepentant. For the offering is to their condemnation, just as it is also for the unrepentant who receive communion of the awe-inspiring mysteries, as the divine Paul says" (St. Symeon of Thessonika, The Liturgical Commentaries, edited and translated by Steven Hawkes-Teeples, (Toronto: Pontifical Institute of Mediaeval Studies, 2001), p. 232f). 

Stump the Priest: Prayers for the Dead on the 3rd, 9th, and 40th day

Question: Why do we pray for the dead on the 3rd, 9th, and 40th day of a person's repose, and what is the basis for the practice?

St. John Chrysostom states that the practice of praying for the dead comes from the Apostles themselves: "Not in vain did the Apostles order that remembrance should be made of the dead in the dreadful Mysteries. They know that great gain resulteth to them, great benefit; for when the whole people stands with uplifted hands, a priestly assembly, and that awful Sacrifice lies displayed, how shall we not prevail with God by our entreaties for them?" (Homily 3 on Philippians).

The Church commemorates the dead at every liturgy, and in every liturgy (that of St. Basil the Great, St. John Chrysostom, St. James, etc.). But there are special days of commemorating the dead, and these commemorations also go back to the Apostles.

The Apostolic Constitutions state: "Let the third day of the departed be celebrated with psalms, and lessons, and prayers, on account of Him that arose in the space of three days; and let the ninth day be celebrated in remembrance of the living, and of the departed; and the fortieth day according to the ancient pattern: for so did the people lament Moses, and the anniversary day in memorial of him. And let alms be given to the poor out of his goods for a memorial of him" (Apostolic Constitutions 8:42).

St. Symeon of Thessaloniki says that the memorial on the 3rd day is in honor of the Trinity, the 9th day memorial is in honor of the nine ranks of angels, the 40th day memorial is in honor of Christ's Ascension on the 40th day, and the annual memorial signifies that the departed lives and ins immortal in the soul (Nikolaos P. Vassiliadis, The Mystery of Death, trans. Fr. Peter A. Chamberas (Athens, Greece: The Orthodox Brotherhood of Theologians, 1997), p. 422f).

An old article from Orthodox Life (The Church's Prayer for the Dead, Orthodox Life, 1978, no. 1, p.16f), summarizes the Church's teaching on this question:

"We commemorate the dead on the third day firstly, because those who have departed had been baptized in the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, the One God in three Persons, and had kept the Orthodox faith they received at holy baptism; secondly, because they preserved the three virtues which form the foundation of our salvation, namely: faith, hope and love; thirdly, because man's being possesses three internal powers—reason, emotion and desire—by which we all have transgressed. And since man's actions manifest themselves in three ways—by deed, word, and thought—by our commemoration on the third day we entreat the Holy Trinity to forgive the departed all transgressions committed by the three above-mentioned powers and actions. When St. Macarius of Alexandria besought the angel who accompanied him in the desert to explain to him the meaning of the Church's commemoration on the third day, the angel replied to him: "When an offering is made in church on the third day, the soul of the departed receives from its guardian angel relief from the sorrow it feels as a result of the separation from the body. This it receives because glorification and offering is made in the Church of God which gives rise in it to blessed hope, for in the course of the two days the soul is permitted to roam the earth, wherever it wills, in the company of the angels that are with it. Therefore, the soul, loving the body, sometimes wanders about the house in which his body had been laid out, and thus spends two days like a bird seeking its nest. But the virtuous soul goes about those places in which it was wont to do good deeds. On the third day, He Who Himself rose from the dead on the third day commands the Christian soul, in imitation of His resurrection, to ascend to the Heavens to worship the God of all."

On the ninth day, the Holy Church offers prayers and the Bloodless Sacrifice for the departed, that his soul be accounted worthy to be numbered among the choirs of the saints through the prayers and intercession of the nine ranks of angels. St. Macarius of Alexandria, in accordance with the angel's revelation, says that after worshipping God on the third day, it is commanded to show the soul the various pleasant habitations of the saints and the beauty of Paradise. The soul considers all of this for six days, lost in wonder and glorifying the Creator of all. Contemplating all of this, it is transformed and forgets the sorrow it felt in the body. But if it is guilty of sins, at the sight of the delights of the saints it begins to grieve and reproach itself, saying: "Woe is me! How much I busied myself in vanity in that world! Enamored of the gratification of lust, I spent the greater portion of my life in carelessness and did not serve God as I should, that I too might be accounted worthy of this grace and glory. Woe is me! Poor me!" After considering all the joys of the righteous in the course of six days, it again is borne aloft by the angels to worship God.

From earliest antiquity the Holy Church has correctly and devoutly made it a rule to commemorate the departed in the course of forty days, and on the fortieth day in particular. As Christ was victorious over the devil, having spent forty days in fasting and prayer, so the Holy Church likewise, offering for the departed prayers, acts of charity and the Bloodless Sacrifice throughout the forty days, asks the Lord's grace for him to conquer the enemy, the dark prince of the air, and that he receive the Heavenly Kingdom as his inheritance. St. Macarius of Alexandria, discussing the state of man's soul after the death of the body, says: "After the second adoration, the Master of all commands that the soul be led to hell and that it be shown the places of torment there, the various parts of hell, and the diverse tortures of the wicked, in which the souls of sinners ceaselessly wail and gnash their teeth. The soul is borne about these various places of torment for thirty days, trembling lest it itself be imprisoned therein. On the fortieth day it is once again borne aloft to adore the Lord God, and it is at this time that the Judge determines the place of confinement proper to it in accordance with its deeds. This is a great day for the deceased, for it determines his portion until the Dread judgment of God, and therefore, the Holy Church correctly commands that fervent prayer be made for the dead on this day."

In additions to these days, there are days appointed throughout the Church year on which the dead are specially commemorated. That Christians have always prayed for the dead is one of the most well attested Traditions of the Church, and is found in the earliest writings of the Church, throughout the fathers, and is a practice that is also found in Judaism and Islam. Only with the advent of Protestantism do you find Christians that do not pray for the dead, but not even all Protestants reject prayers for the dead.

Stump the Priest: Prayer for Specific Purposes and the Liturgy

Question: As a former Roman Catholic, in the past I donated funds to have a Mass said for a dead loved one. Is there an Orthodox Christian etiquette to have a Liturgy said for a recently departed friend or candle lit?

In the Orthodox Church, we do not have the practice of doing the liturgy for a special intention... in other words, we would not do a special liturgy because someone wanted to have it devoted to prayer for a loved one, either living or dead. The Roman Catholics have such a practice (the Votive Mass), but they also have the practice of having a priest or bishop serve multiple masses in a single day, and serving those masses on the same altar. In the Orthodox Church, a Liturgy is appointed for most days of the year, but a priest can only serve it once, and a liturgy can only be served once on a given alter, and anything to the contrary is strictly forbidden.

We do have services that can be requested for specific intentions. For example, you could request your priest to serve a Pannikhida for someone who is departed, or you could request a Moleben (Paraklesis) to pray for some other specific purpose.

Within in the context of the Liturgy, there are also ways that you can pray for specific purposes. Of course you can always light a candle in conjunction with any prayer. In Russian practice, you can submit a prosphora before the Liturgy, along with a list of people that you wish to be commemorated during the Liturgy. In parishes that do not follow this practice, you could still ask the priest to commemorate specific people when he is serving Proskomedia, and he will take particles out of the loaves used for that service (the Russian practice is the same idea, it simply involves a separate loaf, which is returned to the person that submitted it, minus the particles that the priest removed). You can also ask a parish or a monastery to commemorate either the living or the date on a long term basis (or even perpetually), but one should offer a donation at least sufficient to cover the expense of the prosphoras, and also for the benefit of the parish or monastery, as an offering given to God on behalf of the person or persons you wish prayed for. For example, some people make an annual donation for this purpose, along with a list of the living and the dead they wish prayed for. For more on this, see Holy Bread in the Old and New Testaments and Stump the Priest: Commemorations.

Usually, on days other than Sunday, a Litany for the Departed can be done at a Liturgy, and so if your parish does daily Liturgies, or on Soul Saturdays, you could ask the priest to commemorate an Orthodox Christian who has departed.

There is also the Litany of Fervent Supplication at each liturgy, in which prayers can be inserted for various purposes, and so for example, you might ask the priest to do a petition for someone who is traveling or who is sick.

Of course if you are going to ask a priest to pray for someone, you should be sure to do so yourself. The idea of these practices is that you join your prayers for these people with the rest of the Church, when you submit names to be commemorated at the Proskomedia.

Stump the Priest: How do you Pray for the Non-Orthodox?

 Elder Leonid of Optina

Question: How do you pray for the Non-Orthodox?

We do not pray for the Non-Orthodox by name, in the services of the Church, but we can and should pray for them.

Prayers for the Living

When praying for the Non-Orthodox who are living, you can use this prayer:

"Grant, O Lord, that thy servants will be illumined with the light of the Orthodox Faith, and numbered with Thy one, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church..."  and then commemorate their names.

Some use a form of the Jesus Prayer to pray for others, which could include the Non-Orthodox: "O Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on N."

You can also pray in your own words for the Non-Orthodox. Some think that it is wrong for Orthodox Christians to pray extemporaneously, but this is not true. The Jordanville Prayerbook specifically says, towards the end of the morning prayers:

"Then offer a brief prayer for the health and salvation of thy spiritual father, thy parents, relatives, those in authority, benefactors, and others known to thee, the ailing, or those passing through sorrows."

When we do pray extemporaneously, however, we should pray in an Orthodox manner... which we learn how to do by praying the prayers of the Church.

Prayers for the Departed

You can use this prayer, "Have mercy, O Lord, if it be possible on the souls of Thy departed servants (names), who have departed into eternal life in separation from Thy Holy Orthodox Church: unsearchable are Thy decrees. Do not account this, my prayer as a sin, but may Thy holy will be done."

This prayer is from St. Leonid of Optina, and is based on a prayer he recommended to a disciple who was in despair over the suicide of his father: "Seek out, O Lord, the lost soul of my father, if possible, have mercy! Thy judgements are unfathomable. Do not account this prayer of mine as a sin. May Thy holy will be done."

Another, more elaborate way to pray for the Non-Orthodox departed (which can be used, privately, for anyone who has departed) is The Akathist for the Repose of the Departed, which is found in The Book of Akathists," published by Holy Trinity Monastery. This is a beautiful akathists, which not only provides a means to pray for those for whom a Pannikhida cannot be done, but also brings great consolation to the one who prayers it.

For more information see:

Praying for the Non-Orthodox

How to Set Up a Personal Commemoration Book

On the Burial of the Heterodox

Will the Heterodox Be Saved?

Stump the Priest: Commemorations

Question: "How exactly do the commemoration lists work? I know I write the names of Orthodox or non-orthodox people I’m praying for, and then eat the Prosphora bread afterwords… But how do I get the commemorations read out during liturgy? I’m praying for a deceased friend of a friend… Also, for commemorations of the living, are those typically just the sick? Or do we do list those we’re praying for “in general”? For instance, my parents, God Parents, friends that I’m trying to introduce to the church, etc…"

Commemorations can be submitted during the liturgy by either writing out the names of those who are to be commemorated, on the sheets of paper that are placed near the prosphora, or by getting a commemoration book and putting their names in it. If you are using the sheets of paper, there are sheets with read ink that are for the living, and sheets with black ink that are for the dead. In commemoration books, the living are listed in the front section, and the section for the dead follows that.

You simply place your commemoration list with a prosphora into the appropriate basket. Only Orthodox Christians can be commemorated by name during the services. You can include the names of the non-Orthodox in your commemoration book, but they should be labeled as such, and it is best to have them listed in a separate section. For more on how one could set up a commemoration book, see "How to Set Up a Personal Commemoration Book."

It is very important that we not just submit names to be prayed for by the priest, but that when we submit those names, we first pray for them ourselves. As Archbishop Vitaly (Maximenko) of blessed memory used to say, we should not be like cuckoo birds that lay eggs in the nests of other birds, and leave the job of hatching those eggs to others. If we ask others to pray for someone, we should also be praying for them. By submitting a prosphora with a list of commemorations, you are participating in the proskomedia, and you are praying with the priest for those people that you have listed.

In our parish,  these commemorations should be submitted before the end of the first litany at the beginning of the liturgy.

If you have a commemoration book, you can also pray for those you have listed during the week as part of your morning and/or evening prayers. In the Jordanville Prayer Book there is a section at the end of the morning prayers in which these commemorations could be done.

It is a pious practice to take the prosphora from your commemorations, cut it up and let it dry out, and to eat a little bit each morning, after your morning prayers, and to take a sip of holy water. Prosphora should be eaten before you eat anything else that day. For those who cannot attend a daily liturgy, this is a way of participating in the liturgy to a lesser extent throughout the week (see also: Sanctified Bread, by Fr. Victor Potapov).

There are generally three places in the Liturgy in which Orthodox Christians can be commemorated aloud:

1. The Augmented Litany, at which time we can pray for people who are celebrating a special occasion, such as a names day; we can pray for those who are ill; and we can pray for those who are traveling.

2. Commemorations  are also done at the Great Entrance. In our parish, aside from the fixed commemorations, we usually only pray for the departed, but some parish also do other commemorations at this point.

3. At weekday Liturgies, apart from Great Feasts, a litany can be done for the departed. There are several Soul Saturdays during the year in which we especially pray for the departed.

If there is someone that you would like to have commemorated aloud during the Liturgy, it is best to let the priest know before the Liturgy begins. In a pinch, you could have a note sent into the altar, but again, only the Orthodox can be commemorated aloud by name during the services.

You can also ask the priest to serve a pannikhida for any Orthodox reposed you may wish to pray for. This is especially done on or near the anniversary of their repose. For the recently departed, a pannikhida is usually done on the first, third, ninth, and fortieth day of their repose. For the non-Orthodox, I would recommend that you use the Akathist for the Repose of the Departed, which is in the Book of Akathists from Jordanville. For the living, you can request a moleben to pray for any pious purpose, which would certainly include prayers for the salvation of a relative. You can also do a reader's moleben for those purposes as well.